YOU CAN GET RID OF CORRUPTION? NO THANKS

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Stay away from our corruption,period. Just like our Beautiful scenery, our admirable democracy, our fertile lands, our beloved dumpsites, our doping athletes, our corruption is ours. We are proud of it, we have nursed it for over five decades and anyone trying to tear it apart will be met with fire and fury. This I promise you.

Right now we have every reason to fight for the only thing that put us above the rest. So if you are sitting somewhere thinking that we are in a total mess and need some savior, No thank you we are okay. I suggest you go see a barber, or a dentist or whoever you see, just put you time to better use because as far as Kenyans are concerned, the difference between Kenyans and corruption is the similarity.The two are identical twins totally inseparable.

So go ahead, make all those tribunals to dig deep into the scams because nothing sounds sweeter to our ears than to hear that another case has been discarded on grounds of insufficient  evidence. The suspects have been asked to step aside and cannot fly out of the country. Things go like this like that with multi-billion grafts buried six feet under.

Go ahead preach like the most pious fellow that Kenya will ever have. Tell us how our money was swindled in some shady deals we don’t even know existed. Tell us that our national debt burden will double or even triple in the next two days but trust me we don’t care. We stopped caring. We stopped bothering about anything way before millions were paid for suppliers who supplied oxygen to the moon to the lunar branch of the National Youth Service. We stopped caring the day we woke up to the news that just like Anglo-leasing, Euro-bond was just another fools’ day prank and nobody was responsible, money lost itself.

If I woke up tomorrow and found that some billions have been paid to fund the next solar eclipse or to install CCTV cameras in some schools in Garissa I wouldn’t be surprised. Kenyans care for each other and we will take to social media to update the latest scandal, to show our friends overseas that we did it again.  My Facebook friend from Middle East cannot understand why in Kenya, anyone who detests corruption suffers stigma of being disowned, alienated and treated like they breath-out Ebola.

You are never a Kenyan enough until you pass an interview you should have failed because your middle name sounds familiar to the panelists.  That’s how sweet it is. We rot together, we belong together, and we stink corruption, Healthy Corruption. What would we do without corruption?

We have former Anglican archbishop, Eliud Wabukala at the helm of our Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission.Yes a clergy man to deal with the corrupt, so far he has done nothing sipping tea, smiling to his bank account as he prays and forgives the corrupt who move around in V8’s to lavish villa’s and hotels. With the help of the most corrupt institution on earth, Kenya Police or is it National Police Service an institution known for manipulating and disappearance of evidence.

I read in journals and newspapers that some countries punish Corruption by death.  Why that serious? You should ask us what we do here in Kenya.  You see, these corrupt guys are stinking rich. The only way that we citizens can have a bite from their juicy beef is allowing them to vie for political posts.

That way we can wait for them to spray the same money they stole back to us to woe our votes then we end up not voting them. Every Kenyan knows it works. It is a nice cycle once you cut your niche perfectly well. You are either eating with a big spoon or eating from the begging bowl, either way we both eat. That’s what matters.

So I repeat. If you are thinking of a way of dragging Kenyans out of this bottomless pit, sorry, we belong here.  We spew out Corruption from our jugular veins. We know it stinks but so does all of us. We stink. We can’t imagine of a better, less corrupt society.

We live in a corrupt society where for you to get anything meaningful you have to bribe your way through from employment to tenders. Anyone who tells you the opposite needs prayers and medication.

 

 

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