WO-MEN

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Bottomline: Modern day parenting where boys are handled like eggs as they are being raised up will end up giving rise to a new generation of spaghetti men who can’t do anything meaningful on their own.This is the greatest scandal of our generation that will overshadow NYS season 1 and 2 combined

Western civilization and urbanization are the likely scapegoats for any evil that crops up in any African societal set up. The society will blame cultural erosion on the two without a second thought yet the society itself is responsible for the good and the bad that comes with globalization. Not everything that comes with modernity is bad there are good practices that when assimilated in the existent societal norms positive beneficial changes are impacted.However, there are some practices that have been adopted by modern day parenting that have already started to shift the equilibrium by not raising the boy child in a manly manner.

Forget about the you guy my guy cool kids clique who are a product of the leafy suburbs environment that influence their language,accent and dressing.The rise of the Wo-MEN is due to underlying societal practices that manifest itself in the following ways;

Salon goers; the number of wo-MEN visiting this beauty facility that offers beauty services has increased by 1000% within the last 3 years. There are no indicators that the numbers are bound to drop anytime soon but there are projections that their numbers will only soar up.These cohort of men are responsible for creating ‘jams’  congesting salons and beauty parlors for manicure,pedicure,eyebrow (trimming,threading,tweezing,shaping and microblading), curl-kit blah blah blah causing delays to the rightful customers, the women who are technically locked out on the first come first serve rule.

Pettiness; a normal ordinary man is only allowed to know primary colors (red,blue and yellow) black and white. If he goes further he can know the colors of the rainbow theoretically but not practically. These wo-MEN however knows of colors like lilac,fuchsia purple,French raspberry, floral white,forest green, fandango pink,eminence,drab and cosmic latte yet they don’t know  Ole Gunnar Solksjaer is the current manager of Manchester United, Boko Haram is giving President Buhari sleepless nights in Nigeria,Vladimir Putin is the USA’s worst nightmare but Donald Trump’s best friend.

No blood on my hands; they can’t slaughter chicken,goat or sheep; they are very emotional to an extent that they can’t put meat on the table but are willing eaters, not vegetarians by any chance. They jump on chairs or take cover at the sight of rats,mice and cockroaches which they presume to be lions,leopards and cheetahs respectively thus capable of harming them or even taking their lives away.

Can’t climb trees; climbing trees isn’t their thing as they fear they might fall down hurting themselves in the process.They can’t have any scratches on their bodies thanks to this initiation ceremony.Cycling is a NO-NO as bicycles can give them far much worse injuries, furthermore, who will even allow them the privilege of having a bicycle.They would rather spend their time on swings and bouncing castles all day any day, interesting times indeed.

No games; they aren’t into any game be it football,rugby or any game; even mind games, that you would expect any normal man to be following closely. Their choice of music is also suspicious; R&B,love songs and those Spanish songs led by Despacito and Bailando. They are staunch followers of Justin Biebar,Luis Fonsi and Enrique Igleasis, Maluma and Ozuna.

Dog walkers; the common scenes of perceived Wo-MEN keeping fit running alongside those helpless,small,bodied, roped apartment dogs, usually a Chihuahua though in some instances its either a Pomeranian or Bolognese. This apartment dogs are good for nothing when it comes to matters security let alone acting as pace setters when jogging around the hood.Real men keep mongrels unless they have a German Shepherd, Belgian Malinois or the British Bulldog.

Nanny is mum and Dad; parents are very busy running up and down looking for money to bankroll their lifestyles. In the process of working themselves out around the clock neglecting parental responsibilities forcing the house help to take up this roles .Most of our house helps are young women about 19-24 years who don’t have any background on parenting thus raise the young man as they deem fit ensuring he doesn’t go into the kitchen,laundry room or even the garden to pluck weeds or to slash grass. In no time we have a dummy of man;Wo-MAN who can’t even boil his bath water,prepare omelette or boiled eggs and slash grass within the compound.They have never been scolded or exposed to a ‘life threatening’ situation thus end up being softies.

Telenovela; when serious men are busy fighting over which sport channel they should switch to so as to watch their favorite match be it rugby or soccer on SuperSport or Start Times; Wo-MEN are busy arguing which soap opera has the best actors and which bouquet has the most Novela channels.They know of all the current soap operas local and international from My Two Wives,Be Careful with My Heart,Fall into Temptations,The Good Son,The Girl Named Feriha to The Flight to Victory. They are the ones who usually trend these soap operas on twitter day in day out.When normal men reason out issues they ‘catch’ feelings yet you all wonder where did all these emotional men come from all of a sudden.

No sweat; they would rather play computer games,chess,draft or poker all day yet they can’t dare step out for field games be it soccer,rugby,athletics or volleyball;they aren’t into indoor games either be it table tennis or badminton, to them getting tired is out of the equation. They would rather go sun-basking in the nearest swimming pool or to take pictures of themselves in the gym working out so that they can post it on Gram and Snapchat with attractive captions but not to break any sweat by engaging in physical activities even going against The Bible, Genesis 3:19 ‘By the sweat of your brow you will eat…..’ 

Anti-social behavior; early exposure to mobile phones is the greatest mistake by modern day parents,though its an innocent mistake with the blanket argument being that the phone is a necessity today. The blind spot of this decision is most parents don’t have any form of control on what the child does with the phone. Whether they join these online dating sites,stream XXX movies or acquire gay tendencies.

Pretty face; they are very delicate since they walk around with hand sanitizers,wet wipes and lip balm. Their closets have a selection of skin creams, soaps, lotions, cleansers, deodorants and assorted collection of beauty products. They don’t fancy beards thus maintain a clean shave, almost forgot they have to use the dressing mirror on a daily basis.When was the last time you used a mirror?

Group of schools upbringing; with most parents opting for these affluent system of education compared to the congested public primary schools.This system of education smothers any manly behavior as it is focuses on indoor activities and zero physical activities, these has led to an increase in obesity.Academics is overemphasized as parents need to get the best academic results to justify value for money thus all work and no play arrangement. Activities such as drama are given all the attention at the expense of football,basketball and volleyball.By the way these schools don’t even have any open spaces that can act as a playground,the only space left is for their buses to park.

Photogenic; to them the front selfie camera on their phones is the greatest invention since the advent of sliced bread. Taking selfies everywhere for Instagram and Snapchat which is their second home. They can change their social media handles DP (Display Pictures) more than five times in a single day as they update us about everything that goes on in their lives thanks to Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

 

 

 

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