Bottomline: Every human has a dark side but her’s seemed darker.
She walks alone across university premises with one hand on her now watery face her heart is bleeding. Painful memories linger through her mind. At one point she utters words well known to her as if cursing her past. The kind of tears that flow from her eyes like rain clearly form words enough to be read, she was fooled, misused, betrayed before being treated like crap. Suddenly as if being pierced by someone to let the cat out of the bag she falls on her knees and laments amidst sobs
“This world is not my home!! The shame! I owe no one an explanation! So someone please stab me to death”
Her loud wails bring everything to a halt with the few chosen good Samaritans gather to either console or find a weekly rumor to add spices before spreading to a circle of friends during the weekly meet ups. Eager to get a pinch of the incident I maneuver through the crowd. In a flash am at the front , the lady is still ranting emotionally to the extent one may mistake her can to be speaking in tongues when my eyes came into contact with a white paper right next to her. On it blurred writings in bold”PAINFUL THOUGHTS ” Like a thief I grab, do some skimming and it’s clear this is a letter from her loyal boyfriend who clearly warned her whoring ways.
As I sit here thinking about you
My heart is wet past dew
With tears of affection and love
Because Maria you said forever
Like night lovers we will dance to the sound of thunder
Twinkle with the stars, and sparkle like lightning
You the queen and I the majesty
But who is he Maria?
He that keeps you online till midnight
He who offers meals and parties in my absence
He who bought you that car
Him you hide from me
Tell me Maria, who is he?
My mind has lost your obsession
And I think am almost dead
And when I close my eyes I see a different you, A crap
Your last lie “am a virgin”
I think I should have done it just once
Love is fake and you are fake!!
Alas! Maria was her name, here she was. Every human has a dark side but her’s seemed darker. At the back of the paper lies a long narration of her wasted one month life during the lecturer strike with which she opted to remain in school and enjoy her miserable life . She narrates:
“My entire life was closely supervised thanks to strict parents, dad was a full time disciplinarian and mum a photocopy of dad.” Staying humble and disciplined was my daily bread until I set foot in campus. I decided to explore the other side of life I thought I had been missing. Maria,a name I had been given for my good acts which were abandoned before my campus colleagues branded me a new name “mama yao”,their mother. A name so symbolic, mother of all whores so to say.
My mother had warned me against breaking my virginity but to hell with it! How will she know? After all I was away from home, away from spying vulture eyes. Boom! Came the day I met my first boyfriend, I vividly remember the first sight indeed he stole my heart. His name was Cartel, so shy and innocent I was but Cartel taught me everything, he broke the rules and together we ate the forbidden fruit. Love is blind and indeed I loved Cartel, little did I know he had a better definition of love,like passing wind, he came and went never to be seen again. Ooh poor me!!
I found comfort in revenge, tit for tat is a fair game , so having been left miserable I joined the league , with a lot of determination to win at the end. Playing men, fornicating as I resorted to smoking weed to seek comfort. Not for money but with an aim of erasing Cartel from my mind .The number of men that have spent their nights in my small room is uncountable. Occasionally the witty ones came to know my motive and fled or rather we parted ways .Stupid ones danced to the tune of my music and stayed loyal. This is where I thank God for my beauty, enough to seduce any man.
But everything has an end, today I decided to go to hospital to check on my HIV status, the results read were out; PREGNANCY, HIV POSITIVE,SYPHILIS infection. So how do I face my parents and who do I lean on, tell me, don’t I deserve death, ain’t this not a wasted body”
Reading through the lines I felt like I could help but my situation won’t allow.
……and what Maria?