Bottomline: They aim at having unattached relationships with the people around them, because love is fleeting, at best temporary, so why bother? 

Taking a stroll down the supermarket aisles when shopping may seem like an easy thing, but if you are not well versed with the language of ‘millennial friendly goods’ you are in for a ride. Gone are the days when your parents would pick the cheapest item on the shelves, their only worry being how long it would last. Now you have to critically analyze every item you put in your cart, is it organic? Is it cruelty free? Medically tested? KEBS certified? Has your favorite You Tuber approved and recommended it?

Though we may deny it, ‘making a statement’ is the major reason why millennials do things, in order to paint a picture of how they would like others to see them. We take stands on issues we barely understand, supporting or bashing people on the internet for various reasons because we feel entitled enough to do so (once you get over the denial, you are what we call a troll, my good friend).

Dream catcher
They are one hair strand away from going stark naked and living in the wild. These are the type of people who walk barefoot to connect with the earth and reference Mother Nature in their sentences.” You’re doing Mother Nature no favour with that hairstyle, all of that chemical.” She would tell you with a self-righteous head shake, leaving you to wonder what Mother Nature has to do with your new hair colour. They name their children after fruits, go to Bali for their vacation with the occasional sit downs to discuss the benefits of chia seeds. The products they use are preferably homemade, within the bathroom of a young entrepreneur who swears by his grandmother’s hair pomade that is so magical it may even make a pair of wings sprout from one’s head. Ask them for advice on your pending taxes and they would answer “Well of course you start with organic Shea butter, then coconut oil, argan oil, don’t forget the African black soap…”

The cynic
This is the modern day ‘too cool for school’ over-entitled cryptic person. They have opinions on everything; they do not buy products from a certain corporation because on some specified date in 1975 they dumped untreated waste in an unnamed river. They do not support capitalism, if you ask them what they do support, (expecting a vapid ‘communism’ or even Beyonce) they will shake their heads and say “Just not capitalism”. They wear graphic tees and for some odd reason are on the forefront of every organized protest against an offense that was done to some minority group, for the same odd reason, they would quote books with unknown authors (because foreign literature is the future). They love staring blankly at some painting, all the while whispering “monochrome”

Ice nation
Picture the iceberg that destroyed The Titanic, now picture Antarctica, their offspring is the ice nation. These are the millennials that neither feel nor care. They cross the road without looking right and left then right again; in fact they drive without the seat belt. They shrug nonchalantly when they see a pool of blood. Horror movies are their favorite pastime. They disregard feelings, because emotions are for the weak. They aim at having unattached relationships with the people around them, because love is fleeting, at best temporary, so why bother? They revel in the blazing chaos in action films, because if the world was on fire, they would grab a bowl of popcorn to watch it burn into ashes.

Throbbing thumb
Millennials want to stand out so much they would paint themselves a brilliant shade of smurf blue to be distinguished from the crowd. They live for being called different, being acknowledged as the odd ones out. That is why we pick up hobbies, likes and dislikes, in the hope that someone would say “Jane does not like the sunsets like every other girl, she likes the sunrise, taken with an  iphone camera at an angle of forty five degrees, a cappuccino strategically placed within the picture frame.” And if that is the only distinction Jane can get from this cruel, bland world, she will take it with open arms.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here