THE MILLENNIAL: THE SUBTLE ART OF GHOSTING.

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Photo courtesy of 101recycledcrafts.com

Bottomline: In every lady’s inbox there is always a man talking to himself, not forgetting the Indian Banyans who are all over our Facebook inboxes asking for uncensored photos

Millennials and their gadgets are like white on rice. It’s basically an anomaly to see one without the other. Its a widely agreed upon notion that we are the most connected and most versatile demographic cohort when it comes to communication.

With the wide variety of emojis alongside other symbolic messages used or shared all over social media roots us back to one of the oldest forms of communication, hieroglyphics and cave paintings. In fact it’s a perfect loop where communication grew then regenerated seamlessly from one stage to the other.

The big question therefore is, as the most connected, most flexible (communication wise) generation, how come we have ‘ghosting’ culture?

Terminology curse; Ghosting, just as the name suggests, is the sudden withdrawal of communication from a person. Most of us have actually experienced this. You text pretty Jane up after work one day because you met her at a grocery store the previous day. You intelligently strike up a conversation about avocados (because she bought those in plenty) randomly spewing facts about its health benefits (who knew it improves vision? Google is a bed of knowledge).

Next thing you know you are having late night chats that includes but is not limited to sharing of memes. According to you, everything is going great, in fact its so great that you are willing to invest in a joint gym membership. Unfortunately, as all millennial fairy tales end, she ghosts you.

The painful process; What you did not anticipate is that instead of the gushing tap of Jane’s communication to slowly recede, trickling down to a warning for you to bolt, she closed it suddenly. No one anticipates a ghosting. It is as severe as the throbbing aftermath of ripping off a band aid. She came, formed a meaningful relationship with you, then left. Your life is now marked by ‘before Jane’ and ‘after Jane’, as the popular song goes, things will never be the same again.

Grasping reality; Before you crawl into a corner to wallow in self pity, it is wise to realize that you probably had no influence in Jane’s decision to discard you in that manner. Ghosting can root from a person’s need to be reclusive or to sever a relationship the best way they know how: by being a coward about it.

Jane is amongst the greater percentage of millennials who could not be bothered to keep up a relationship they were no longer interested in, while you are part of an even larger population of millennials who depend on constant communication to feel validated and recognized in a relationship.

Ghost to flesh; As the famous Swahili saying goes, “ukiachwa, achika” if he or she leaves accept and move on. You need to realize that for whatever selfish reason Jane used to drop you like hot coals, you need to take a more selfish one, taking your self -worth home with you. Instead of talking to yourself in her inbox wishing yourself good morning and good night.

In every lady’s inbox there is always a man talking to himself, not forgetting the Indian Banyans who are all over our Facebook inboxes asking for uncensored photos. It never draws a good picture when you decide to lay it all bear, begging her to reply. Neither does it do your dignity any favour when you brood around, sub consciously begging for people’s pity. If Jane decided to hit the road, then turn your back and walk the other way.

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