THE MILLENNIAL: SELF-PROCLAIMED HERMITS-PART 1

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Bottomline: They spend time alone thinking of strategies for student leadership positions, work promotions, or in extreme cases, drafting their leadership plan for when they are finally president.

With our generation comes the phrase ‘safe space’, an area of comfort, where one cannot be judged. A place you can stay braless, in an over-sized tee, while binge watching series after series, gorging on fattening food, without a care in the world. However, as millennials, we have taken this (together with many other simple concepts in life) too far.
Millennials love their time, they bask in cancelled plans, new shows on Netflix supplemented with random (but controlled) visits to the local movie guy for a mass feed of new movies. Then they retreat into  their comfort zones to brood over junk food and generic movies, with a heavy dose of loneliness.

Clean break
For our first set of recluses, they are obsessed with network marketing and  cryptocurrency. “Bro, with the Bitcoins I bought, I’ll be moving to the Maldives by 2020.” They believe in early retirement, posts motivational quotes with a lion in the background and caption it ‘young millionaire’s vibe’. These hermit spends most of their time scouring the internet for fast money making sites and thoroughly believes that the world revolves around marketing. Within his life plan, he intends to take the world by storm one sunny day, work in Google for a few years before spending his money in Italy when he hits forty, a close friendship with Mark Zuckerberg establishing themselves early in their respective careers.

Anticipation addiction
“ When it’s finally my time, ha! The world will sing my name in all languages.” said every dreamer in history. The world is a bed of opportunities, but they cannot take it yet, not yet. To this hermit, the world is like a game, and they are stuck in one level. Once they unlock the next level, they will have access to everything they have been dreaming of. They are so sure of their significance in society that they have opinions on every matter. They believe in the sovereignty of the voter, know all the members of parliament by heart and always say “if it was not for (enter political leader’s name here) we would not be having potholes” leave alone that said pothole has been there for years.

They spend time alone thinking of strategies for student leadership positions, work promotions, or in extreme cases, drafting their leadership plan for when they are finally president.

Celebrated introvert
These hermits are so proud of being introverted that they could plaster it on their foreheads given the chance. Their memes involve jokes on how annoying it is being told to raise their voice when speaking, loving the ‘Netflix and chill’ vibe all encased in a basket of #GrowingUpShy. They post back to back comparisons of what they (introverts) do that it nauseates you. Any suggestion that involves going out is met with a rehearsed “I’m not into that, I have a few things I need to do.” Then they take a ten hour nap.

Comfort and warmth
Even if the life of a recluse may not appeal to all, to some it is the highlight if their day, when they get to sit in solitude and sigh, shedding the day’s interactions and forced smiles. Every individual needs some ‘me time’, so the tale of The Millennial’s hermits continues in our next episode.

 

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