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Bottomline: 2020 is that aunt that no one likes at the family gathering thanks to her unsolicited ‘advice’ that often sounds suspiciously close to a back handed drag, it is a warm soggy salad, it is the abomination that is a rotten avocado, it is a needlessly mean nurse who shouts at sick children. 2020 is Karen. 2020 is men….

2020 went from ‘this is going to be my year’ to ‘well at least I’m still alive’ in five seconds. We are all still reeling from it battling the whiplash that is this year is you and I, wrapped up in our blankets, hands around our knees, swaying back and forth catatonically, waiting for this extended field trip through hell come to a close.

How foolish we were in January, making all these plans just to watch it all burn (literally and figuratively) in the previous few months.

2020 is that aunt that no one likes at the family gathering thanks to her unsolicited ‘advice’ that often sounds suspiciously close to a back handed drag, it is a warm soggy salad, it is the abomination that is a rotten avocado, it is a needlessly mean nurse who shouts at sick children. 2020 is Karen. 2020 is men.

Jack of all trades; If by a show of hands, the number of people who have tried the banana bread recipe is taken. You would probably be one of them. If you are not within that category, then surely Chloe Ting’s workouts that promise the abs of a body builder within two weeks must be high up on your search history.

If you have not yet succumbed to those two, then you must definitely have a secret (or not so secret) Tik Tok profile lying around.

There is no shame in indulging in these en masse hobbies or habits. Why, just the other day I was seriously debating with myself on the pros and cons of making a ‘don’t leave me’ challenge video. The video would have completely tarnished my name, repute and spit on my street credentials?

Absolutely! Would it, however, fulfill my childish need to run around while laughing at jokes that are so horrible causing physical pain? Yes. Yes it would. I am still debating on the matter (owing to the infamous thought, ‘what would a man profit if he gains the world and loses his soul?’ I would rather let the decision of making my very first TikTok appearance marinate in my head a little bit more), but if I do decide to do it. I hope my family and friends will forgive me for the second hand embarrassment I cause them, especially my mother.

Fever dream; The virtual maze that is TikTok aside, there should be a name for the robotic manner in which we handle matters currently. It is as if the entire planet is having an out of body experience; of the sleep paralysis variety. It has often been asked in the past few months when a video of a gross injustice suffocates social media, who is doing all these things?

We could barely wrap our heads around the fact that we were on the verge of world war 3 at the beginning of this year, leave alone an actual pandemic. As if that was not enough- the return of Anonymous; an online vigilante group of hackers who brought to life a series of dealings that had our mouths hitting the floor.

Within our own back yard, it hit us like a truck that the police, who had sworn to protect and be of service to the citizens of Kenya, would (unprovoked, mark you) decide to ‘service’ them properly over masks and curfew hours.

Survival mode; ‘This too shall pass’ is my current mantra, if it doesn’t work then I will quickly switch to ‘this world is not my home’. It is hard to believe that it has been six months already. Six months of us trying to hold on to the fast spinning orb that is earth, but hold on we must. This could be so much worse (although trying to imagine how much worse it could get, would, in itself, be a blunder, because what if it comes true?). One thing is for sure, 2020 would make amazing fire side stories for our grandchildren.