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Bottomline: I have sincerely outgrown the empty sweet lies men use vibe us into a relationship, I could just work with nothing else but plain honesty. Lies have become the basic foundation to which love and relationships are built.

“Hi, am Roby, 28. A pro photographer with a five figure monthly income, which, unfortunately I’m not ready to share yet. I wash my hair twice every month as you can see, my dreadlocks are very delicate- cool is my default setting, I’m a healthy guy, I love sugar and am a free bird. I find you incredibly attractive thus I’d like to see beneath your beauty. We could explore the park bench by the riverside, my car, a hotel room or my 3-bedroom apartment, it all depends with your curiosity or adventure levels then later say our goodbyes, what’s your take?”

For a moment I got carried away, I must admit I almost gave Roby a chance to ‘see beneath my beauty’ if not for the fact that I was still struggling with my ability to stomach accepting such a candid approach could come from a man,a young man who should be seeking to settle down. Why in the world would he gamble with his chances like that?

Honestly speaking though, I think Roby is the most straightforward guy I have ever met in my history of meeting new people.If honesty was anything to go by, he would top my list of people I would wish to have in my circle. Adulthood has proven to be an extremely tough stage thus having such sincere people to tell you nothing but the truth when you need it is simply awesome.

I have sincerely outgrown the empty sweet lies men use vibe us into a relationship, I could just work with nothing else but plain honesty. We get tired of the lies they say but then again such straightforwardness is always mistaken for disrespect or sociopathic because we are not always comfortable with the truth. Sincerity has become more like a hidden treasure these days finding one person who is totally frank with their motives is like reaching the moon.

Honest and trustworthy people are becoming a rare gem to find as lies have become the basic foundation to which love and relationships are built. Being sweet to your spouse or partner is okay, I prefer someone who points at my belly fat advising me to lose it – not that I have any but well, that is the kind of honesty I yearn for – to one who tells me that I look ravishingly perfect in carroty hair and green lipstick.

For once I’m going to try being a relationship expert, not professionally of course, but experience teaches us best, right? So, let us start from where the experience began.

So here’s a brief history of my previous relationships. There was him. The one who called me Lolly Choco and I loved it. I actually found it super sweet. He used to say my skin is a beautiful shade of black, my love for lollies- yeah, lollipop, the candy- was an addiction that made me even more attractive to him. He talked about my beautiful eyes how strikingly gorgeous they looked. That I was an angel, specifically designed and sent to him.

Then there was this other one before him, the one who called me strobe light. Perhaps because all the female contacts in his phonebook had similar names but then that is not how I pictured it. I was not going to allow anything alter my thoughts. Just like Lollie choco, strobe light had a deeper special meaning that made my heart tingle with love. He too said I was special.

Just to be clear, they never lied when they said all those amazing things about me.I do not want to blow my own trumpet for the record… but then they lied about their feelings for me. They were just never in love. There was something else, something that they could have mentioned or showed me early enough saving me from unnecessary pain.

Roby was straight forward with what he wanted the rest were looking out for their own interests, I should have held my wits and taken care of mine too.

I felt safe with each one of them, laid too much trust as I totally banked on the words they said until the former surprised me with a dreadful betrayal. The latter ghosted on me at the time I needed him the most. I can almost swear that a part of me knew they had been lying about their feelings but I was too busy desperately searching for love that I refused to open my ‘third eye’ to make use of my head.

I’m on a new level now having developed a much tougher skin over the few years. My perspective on relationships has matured. I prefer openness over sweet talks. If you are in for the ‘new month, new flavor’ thing, better get me the memo soon enough so I can adjust, if you promise to love and to cherish, let it be so.

Nobody’s heart is a play thing. If you are looking to play, get yourself a soft ball or fit into those Reebok shoes then join a tennis club. Quit breaking hearts thinking it is a fancy way to go about life. Some people have lived chaotic lives long enough, some are done being lonely thus they just need someone to show them what love is, do not be the reason why they lose their last fragile belief in love.

To single ladies, unless you want to become a step ford wife, do not stick around with the lying type, they will definitely mess you up. So if you are up for the lies, I would advise you talk with you St. Christopher since you will definitely need safety embarking on such a journey. To the taken ones, I wish you a happily-ever-after, if it truly does exist. And to all of you, kindly stay true to each other.

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Annie Odeka
The beauty of my youth is what drives my desire to grow older because I'm always convinced that when it fades, there will be a whole new chapter of beauty waiting; the beauty of old age. Sounds ironical, right? But that's what I'm made of. I'm a puzzle that's difficult to solve. The out-going introvert and the fire that cannot be quenched with water. It's hard to be me at times but my enthusiasm for life always keeps me tracking and reminding me that I gotta be just me and nobody else. That's the reason why I like to show to the world what I'm made of and the adventures this world has taken me through.


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