SITUATIONSHIPS

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Photo Courtesy of hervictoryblog.blogspot,com

Bottomline: Women in this country have become something else reducing men to shopping vouchers, vacation offers, rent payers, mortgage providers, fare senders, interior designers, landscapers, car bazaar operators and birthday money service providers without apologies.

Stress levels are very high in this country; people are struggling to make ends meet, the economy is in shambles for the ordinary citizen who isn’t part of the government tendering that has led to a new crop of nouveau riche who are mostly government ‘relathieves’.

Jobs aren’t easy to come by nowadays, money seems to be playing hide and seek with wallets. The Ksh 1000 note has become valueless the moment you ‘break it’ it vanishes into thin air, you haven’t done anything meaningful with it. Anything meaningful that you can account for, just like that it is useless.

Modern day dating is very complicated. You are neither here or there; at one point you’re dating someone who isn’t dating you, at times you’re dating just to complete the adulthood cycle. Those of us who have received heart breaks from all corners of the world congregate in the self love corner busy posting photos on Instagram captioned #SelfLove as they date themselves. Another cohort is sick and tired of dating members of their opposite sex championing for the LGBT movements as feminists suffocate us with the all men are trash shenanigans including their fathers, brothers and cousins.

Single motherhood is a trademark as deadbeat fathers continue to be the main talking point in all platforms formal or informal from mainstream media houses, saloons, baby showers to village barazas. Federation of women lawyers (FIDA) has been hounding men who have abandoned parental responsibilities after enjoying conjugal rights. Relationships are nowadays very complicated for those of us with ‘simple’ minds and faint hearts that’s why I shifted my focus yoghurt; that Lord Delamere yoghurt with real strawberries anytime Satan tries to hoodwink my thoughts so that I text someone’s daughter.

The women the church, society and parents want us to marry have become something else, something else that doesn’t have a definite descriptive name. They are as elusive as pestilence that walketh in the darkness, forcing men to spend more on pizzas, cakes, bouquets, jewelry, expensive dates and rent for houses they have never seen or lived in.

Women in this country have reduced men to shopping vouchers, vacation offers, rent payers, mortgage providers, fare senders, interior designers, landscapers, car bazaar operators and birthday money service providers without apologies.

Our Cerelac-Weetabix- Pampers generation of men have been socialized as women watching soap operas, playing table tennis and taking part in drama festivals. Yet we wonder why nowadays life is full of drama. Alejhandro in all Mexican soap operas we watch already set a precedent that a man can’t be rejected by any woman thus we don’t have the guts to stomach rejection thus one can drive himself for more than 600 kilometres to kill a lover before taking his own life. Dear men rejection is inevitable, personally the number of women who have rejected my advances can form a heavy traffic snarl up from Lodwar to Mombasa but I am yet to ‘kill’ any of them.

I know it may be tough to handle rejection but like failure sometimes, it proves to be a blessing in disguise. When you get rejected, it provides you with another opportunity to do some soul searching on what  may have gone wrong and head back to the drawing board and keep knocking at another door and it may be opened, if it won’t be opened move on to the next door. It saves time and resources.

Dear daughters of Eve, it is important to be straight forward with men in your inboxes from the word go. Tell them point blank from the word go you aren’t into him or you are going to be a nun instead of taking them round in unending circles from Java House, Pizza Inn, Villa Rosa Kempinsky to Sibiloi National Park. When you reject a man, tell him as early as possible so that he packs his bags for Bermuda Triangle as he moves on swiftly to the next patient.

There is no way you can like a man’s money and the life that comes with it yet you don’t want to be associated with him. When you reject, reject everything and you will stay alive no man with an axe will come to hack you in broad daylight. We have very emotional men; men who ‘catch’ feelings thanks to soap operas. You don’t reject but still squander his time and money.

The same shameless ladies who are lecturing men on how they should handle rejection by accepting and moving on should also lecture their fellow women on how to say no to men and their money or whatever money comes with. How you reject men defines you as a woman.

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vollah owino
A word winning writer //Certified Public Noise Maker (CPNM-K) //Consistently inconsistent All sins committed here are mine alone. Anything I write can't be used against me in any court (Court of public opinion or Court of law). Best Creative writer North of the Orange River and South of the Mediterranean .Even The New York Times and The Daily Mail have grammatical errors. How I write isn't how I think. Everyone Is a Living Story. Email owinovolah@campuserian OR owinovolah@gmail.com #ConfuseYourEnemies

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