Its all systems go; from 13th to 16th we will not be around, If you don’t see us online or offline blame it on the men’s conference. 2019 wasn’t a good year our fare was eaten, we were dumped after paying four year university course fee, dowry payments,wedding money were also eaten, crimes of passion made headlines and we had messy-noisy divorce cases that had casualties with judges using our money to wipe out the tears of our marriage pace setters.
“By all means marry, if you get a good wife you will be happy, if you get a bad one you will become a Philosopher.”- Socrates. Andrew Kibe became a philosopher which makes him the indisputable moderator of the conference. This is the official keynote speaker guest list ignore any other economic communique from selfish quarters;
‘Beeshop’ Jackson Kibor; Addressing the first ever men’s conference themed “Men and Seven Mountains of Social Influence” last year where he disseminated wisdom on being firm, non-violent and avoiding manipulation by women. The patron of Men Against Women Manipulation Movement, he is the proverbial cat with nine lives divorcing two wives whom he had lived with for more than forty years within a period of 15 months after hatching a ‘murder conspiracy’ directly implicating them alongside some of his sons to remove him from the picture so as to split his vast wealth.
Known for his honesty and hard work having been a Councillor for more than 20 years serving as the chairman of Wareng County Council for many years. At 87 Mr. Kibor seems energetic enough driving himself around Eldoret town interacting with residents reminiscing the good old days. Though he says he has no plans to marry again he hasn’t ruled out the chances of divorcing his only remaining wife 39 year old Yunita Kibor whom she describes as a modern woman with brains who knows that if she doesn’t take care of him then she will be shown the door like her predecessors. Managing the vast ‘Kibor Clan’ which consists of more than 30 children in a polygamous set up is no mean fete.
Benson Masubo;Wazir Chacha as he was known along bedrooms of power could have been deported alongside the Akasha brothers to serve life sentence in Guantanamo Bay if it were up to parliament. He managed to date two women legislators at the same time with zero detection. He should tell us how to manage women in power.
Cyprian Nyakundi; many women love to loathe this guy who is the de facto Commander In Chief of the Boychild Defence Forces Kenyan command since they focus on the container not the content. His arrest on extortion claims when the conference is around the corner came as a relief to them. His bare knuckle salvos calling out women practicing pussypreneurship using clitocurrency to abate modern day prostitution using sex to gain favors from all quarters be it vacations to Dubai, promotions, employment, tenders,political nominations or fully furnished apartments in Kileleshwa. All men agree with Nyakundi’s sentiments from the highly educated oncologists to the street urchins what they may not agree with is his message design and presentation not his message.
Dennis Okari; How can a man be so calm after being trashed, a Kisii man on that matter. This guy’s self control must be out of this world his composure when he was being portrayed as an award winning dead beat dad by his ex wife’s sister in a long Facebook post full of ‘kizungu mingi na catwalk’ thanking everyone including the hospital messenger for expert care given to his daughter not even acknowledging his presence leave alone his contribution.
This was bad publicity for an outspoken media personality who moved on with his life marrying in a secret invite only wedding after an acrimonious divorce with his former flame who sirens our screens daily after a highly publicized engagement and wedding that even appeared on True Love Magazine cover page. He should sincerely pass his knowledge down the the boys club saving the lives of these daughters of Jezebel who never leave in peace but leave you in pieces we don’t want another Major Mugure or Naftali Kinuthia horror movie going forward.
Erick Omondi; this is no laughing matter how do you move in like you never left, back to the arms of your baby mama, Jacque Maribe after five years of paternal ‘plausible deniability’. Five years then boom holiday with family, the baby mama is happy as if nothing went south with the ‘our son his happy to have his dad back’. This strategy has to be passed down to future baby daddy’s to avoid damaging baby mama dramas.
Fadhili Wilkins; How he managed to con women of substance money including the politically woke Ruth Ambogo using his business incubation,partnership and inculcation model making him ‘top’ the Forbes Top 30 Under 30 list. How do you convince these people who go partying without money, eat fare and wedding money to remove money from their purses under no duress. He should give us tips on how we are going to recover our eaten fare.
Ken Mijungu; A friend in deed in deed. We all need a Ken Mijungu as a friend. Someone who can separate truths from half truths specifically when your former flame through her proxies schemes to expose you as the devil’s cup bearer to win public sympathy. How he debunked Mercy Kyallo’s attempted defamation theory in relation to Denis Okari calling her out as he gave the other side of the story which was omitted for obvious reasons was out of this world.For someone who ain’t family, isn’t paid legal fees or public relations retainer to come out strongly in your defence in such an emotive matter is commendable, he needs to teach us more on bro-code. We all need a Ken Mijungu in our circle of friends otherwise we will be minced meat on social media.
Maxwell Ochieng Odongo; If a bank was a person then it would have been Professor Maxwell himself. The amount of financial investment he had in project ‘Corazone Saphane’ only to realize an antelope is nobody’s goat. Ksh 850,000 dowry, Ksh 300,000 wake up-make up call, Ksh 50,000 Mercedes repair, Ksh 400,000 for home appliances, Ksh 100,000 fare from Nairobi to Luo Nyanza, Ksh 18,000 hand beads, Ksh 40,000 human hair,Ksh 12,000 morning show Kitenge, Ksh 250,000 breast firming surgery the list is endless for a woman who has ‘hidden two’ children back in the village. On realizing an antelope can’t be domesticated after their noisy breakup Prof took to social media to share his financial rape story with the screen siren, of course as a motivation speaker. Muwachane na wasichana wa media,kwanza wa Instagram.
Sam Shollei; If you thought there was only one King in the North (John Snow) you are definitely wrong. There is another King in the North Rift known as Sam Kruschev Shollei. Personally I don’t trust anyone with a Russian name be it Putin or Kruschev, however, Kruschev is an exception how he got engaged 144 hours after finalizing his divorce case should be included in the Guinness book of records. Divorcing someone you have been married to for close to 25 years who happens to be a lawyer by profession, has the former Judiciary Registrar position on her curriculum vitae and a woman representative in power by practice with minimal financial dents shows who is the Boss. He should deliver a speech on not placing all your eggs in one basket.
Silas Chepkeres Jakakiimba; women can really mess you up, turning your life upside down and inside out simultaneously. These women who are exposed a little bit,having gone past form 4 are the worst when it comes to creating a life changing mess. They can turn a lawyer of repute, Raila Odinga’s adviser into a motivation speaker traversing police stations and courts seeking child custody orders. From advising Raila Odinga a man who doesn’t listen to anyone (according to Miguna Miguna) to engaging in cat and mouse games to access your children is damn stressing. Composing himself after a very bitter break up on discovering his wife was constantly opening the matrimonial server to her retirement bound boss for financial and professional favors he has opted to living his life for his kids.
Silas Nyanchwani; If you aren’t reading his musings on Facebook you are missing a lot. This guy has a way of addressing,undressing and dressing real life relationship predicaments. Always on point on why men should live within their means and not to please these anyone more so species in skirts so as to fit into their description of an ideal man. Fitting in isn’t viable when you are in between jobs,your wallet is always empty,mobile money loans messages are suffocating your inbox, your parents and siblings are suffering in the village yet you are busy buying expensive alcoholic drinks with two or more names like Macallan Rare Cask for ‘mayengs’ at some upmarket watering hole. He should deliver a keynote speech on financial discipline.
Steve Ogolla; Everyone is susceptible when deception is at play more so when the means of persuasion involves emotion with love in the air. Suave city lawyer was left counting his loses after he allegedly lost Ksh 500,000 wedding preparation money to one Dorcas Sarkozy a woman she met online but not offline. Men have been lamenting how their bus fare which ranges between Ksh 200 to Ksh 3000 then boom wedding money has been eaten. This led to public ridicule but he also gained valuable insights on how to identify red flags,blind spots and smell extortion from as far as Timbuktu which he needs to inculcate in us so that we don’t fall prey in future.