My sister if you happen to be dating a Nigerian businessman who doesn’t work at either Shelter Afrique, Taxify, Nigerian High Commission, United Nations or EcoBank, run baby run..

Seated in a dimly lit corner which doubles up as the VIP section of a high end lounge in the western side of the city, a place where only those with membership cards or ‘those’accompanying ‘those’ with membership cards are allowed entry. I fall under the category of ‘those’ accompanying ‘THOSE’ with the cards thanks to the people I work with. In this section of the lounge you are able to have unlimited view of what is going on around the lounge.

Let’s not confuse each other, a lounge combines dining and entertainment with the dining section serving a wide range of delicacies; a club has hawkers who limit dining services to eggs, samosas, smokies and sausages ; whereas a pub has its dining section at the door where meat is being roasted, boiled with soup being titrated under not so hygienic conditions.

Some few minutes to 8pm, a troupe of Nigerian men donning their usual Agbada attires storm in taking strategic sitting positions adjacent to where we were. It was not the first time I came across them infact, we usually had those small time conversations which don’t go beyond ten minutes exchanging only pleasantries since I am not able to comprehend the points they are trying to put across thanks to their heavy tongues, Igbo interference culminating to their pidgin English which from afar sounds like English but it’s not English, it’s just in between here and there.

Knowing very well that Kenyan men are grand architects of robbery without violence, like what the Thika trio pulled on Kenya Commercial Bank, they don’t bother themselves sustaining any meaningful conversation with us since they know we won’t buy in their‘business’ shenanigans. Furthermore, the difference between them and us when it comes to crooked ways is the similarity. So they shift their focus to our gullible women who buy everything they say as gospel truth, removing no comma, hyphen or apostrophe.

Thanks to the fragrance of their expensive French cologne which I could tell was Annick Goutal Eau D’hadrien, women start trooping to their table one after the other, within a few minutes the ratio of  Ogas to women is 1:8. They automatically shift the point of attraction from the Deejays booth to their table as they talk in capital letters multiplying any other sound to zero raising it to infinity. Telling stories on how they took part in Biafra war, how they have neutralized Boko Haram in Sambisa forest, how everyone is a Masters holder back in their country and other Yoruba short stories as ladies remain glued to their seats listening keenly.

If they would replicate the attention they give our these ninjas elsewhere, 80% of our doctors would be women and not men. Before realizing it, they are already living with them as husband an wife only for the Oga to disappear regularly for mysterious ‘overseas’ business trips within Westlands. They make you see Nigerian as paradise, until you start critically asking yourself, If Nigeria was the paradise they portrayed what brought them here in any case?  

Creating this enigmatic impression among our women aided with their movies and music which have religious viewership amongst our female members of the society portraying them as charming, hardworking, sensitive, patient romantic, presentable, loaded, confident, generous and caring which is the direct opposite of their realistic Kenyan counterparts who have been accused of being stingy, shaggy, cantankerous, lazy, boring, careless and insensitive.

Unlike men who reason with their heads before making judgments, Ladies use their feelings and hearts to make judgments. Alive to this fact, these cliques of Nigerian noveau riche posses all the attributes that will make ladies susceptible by appealing to their feelings thus facilitating their end game, deception. They clearly orchestrate the 3rdLaw of Power, concealing their intentions.

All of them are businessmen; they deal with everything in general and nothing in particular. They have many businesses overseas, their numerous passports act as ‘supporting’ documents to their claims, which in essence might be the criminal trail they left behind from respective countries. They all claim to be related to Aliko Dangote who is either their ‘uncle’ or business associate or a combination of both.

No man in his rightful mind would spend hard earned cash on daily merrymaking; drinking and smoking shisha. Our Oga brothers are international renowned drug peddlers, ivory traders, black market operatives, money launderers and cyber criminals. If you doubt ask uncle Google about Antony Chinedu or Emmanuel Peter Lovembe. My sister if you happen to be dating a Nigerian businessman who doesn’t work at either Shelter Afrique, Taxify, Nigerian High Commission, United Nations or EcoBank, run baby run..



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here