CITIES FACE OFF

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Right now Professor Anyang’ Nyong’o deserves something close to the triumphantic entry of the Messiah in Jerusalem. Seeing off Nairobi and Mombasa in the Cities’ performance scorecard released a few weeks ago, eight months into his tenure is no mean feat. Kisumu residents, listen up, Baba Lupita is now worthy of every ohangla you will compose from today henceforth. But before the party begins, hold on a bit. There are a few rubrics we need to clear up.

Kisumu City tops with a C+ I was so thrilled about this until I figured out who the other contenders were. One, Nairobi and the other Mombasa: Lords of garbage and filth. Any city with fewer blocked alleys and lesser garbage piles would beat them anyway.

Let’s take Nairobi for instance. Have you heard they fight to have dumpsites nearer home, that way they can control the garbage business with ease?  Elsewhere in county number one they fill the garbage trucks to the sky and speed off like they mean it. All the reason a bulk of the garbage doesn’t make it to Kibarani but decorate the streets. Kisumu deserves better opponents.

It appears Governor Sonko is way cooler than the older version of himself. He has welcomed the pathetic D+ with a hug so wide. But he hasn’t forgotten to blame his predecessor and, as you can already guess, cartels. Sonko is yet to unleash his own monetary budget and trust me when he does that he will among other things: connect every home to tap water, light Nairobi to the corridors dredge all the garbage to who knows where and tarmac even your bedrooms. As for the cartels we will find them jobs in Mexico or Cuba or just deport them.

I think Mombasa is doing so well given that Sultan is not so new to such grades. Besides he has spent much of his time attending to more important things like checking on Miguna Miguna in Dubai. Something tells me that if Joho can only sit in his office for two weeks running without jumping on a plane to anywhere he will give Professor a run for his money. Before the county diehards tell us how they are running it at their own pace ,lets remind them that they are on a second term and should be way much ahead.

Now, I didn’t mean to spoil the fun in Kisumu. You can sweep the streets from Kondele all the way to town and spray it with air freshener to welcome the Governor. As for me, you’d rather thank Nairobi and Mombasa for being so filthy that your filth doesn’t smell enough. Lest we forget that where everyone else is blind, the crooked mono-eyed crooks becomes the King.

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