Bottomline: How am I supposed to live with my African mum 24\7 waking up each morning to a sarcastic ’Good morning CEO’ of the house.

Rehashing meticulously articulating how 2020 will be your year. Is it? Reminiscing 2019 declaring not just the relationship, but a solemn one on New years eve in 2020. Swiping left and right on tinder seeking your perfect match. Admiring your favourite ‘power couple’ goofing around on the Gram taking part in the numerous quarantine challenges, prolly listening to Sam Smiths ‘way too good at goodbyes’ the heartbreak is taking a toll on you.

Were you supposed to have lost at least three kilograms within the first quarter of the year? How is the curve on your spiritual journey after casting out diabolic practices opting to be shepherded by The Lion Of Judah moving forward into 2020. Did you promise to be better as a friend ,daughter/ son, girlfriend/boyfriend ,or whatever dirty linen on your laundry list?

If you have effectuated any of the promise, good for you. You have made it through the first quarter of the year.

This time it’s different ,staying alive is your only priority everything else comes later in whatever order. The World has one hell of an attitude, if you always mistake periodic madness amongst women as attitude rethink.

When it rains, I cloth myself in heavy Eskimo attire doubling my weight on the weighing scale scales weakening my posture thanks to the soaked clothes that it no longer appears to be raining rather a narrow escape from a drowning ordeal. In the afternoon on the same day am dripping sweaty the scorching heat is unbearable. Anyway I have found ways of out maneuvering such conditions for the 21 years have been in existence.

Then boom the World introduced Corona Virus, let me sound intelligent by saying Covid 19.

One morning or was it at night you came rob us of the normal life we took for granted, human beings are no longer social beings no social interactions, no hugs, no handshake just waving from a distance.

Are you going to tell me you didn’t think it would be this tragic. Feeling apprehensive about touching my mum, taking a breath of fresh air is now suicidal as I have heard the air too is contaminated. Blinded by the sudden incursion, sensory overload lost in a hazy version of my own reality.

For how long am I supposed to wear a mask I grew up knowing was reserved for medics. Don’t you all see how we resemble an alley of clowns walking all over masked.

How am I supposed to live with my African mum 24\7 waking up each morning to a sarcastic ’Good morning CEO’ of the house. Should I keep on lying I slept at 11.00 pm yet I went to bed when the rosemary aroma suffocated the air a clear indication someone was preparing breakfast only to be woken up 30 minutes later to go buy bread since the youngins are susceptible to COVID 19 yet am immune. How should I explain the nagging headache due to lack of sleep,reason being binge watching Love is Blind on Netflix, swallowing painkillers to manage sleepache.

Having to sanitize all the time following the health guidelines given by the government on touching surfaces. How should I tell my brother to stop sanitizing his hands frequently now that not an hour passes without him sanitizing,mind you he is just at home. If you are reading this we are short of sanitizer supplies.

How will I explain to my children having graduated after 6 years taking a four year course? I told my mum to keep the masks for future granny story telling sessions for my kids when the time comes. I wouldn’t mind doing it myself without appearing to having been in existence since the days of Jonah being swallowed by the Fish on his way to Tarshish having disobeyed orders to go to Nineveh. I would like to be a modern mum always updated on the current trends not the traditional strict by the book mother.

How will I achieve my flat tummy and thin waist body goals when am always munching something, my body is nowhere near my goals. A fortnight ago pressure from certain quarters forced me to work out. It ended in tears with excruciating pain on my back that am still recuperating because I tried to do a headstand.

A perfect time to read the books have been procrastinating for a while. The self help books reminding me of how I need to do something, how lazy am I Rona or no Rona. That’s the motivation I get. But thanks to my Bible all hope is not lost.

Did I mention my failed attempt of trying new recipes. I have never baked a cake so I thought a quarantine cake would be a brilliant idea. I reached out to my sister who gave me the recipe as she always updates on her social media handles how she cake juggles different flavors. Am not alone in this exercise, mum is on board.

Don’t ask me what shes been doing all those years. First attempt failed, second attempt failed. What have never understood about cooking is how you can use the same recipe ,following it step by step but get different results . Trying to go by my new quarantine mantra ‘practice makes perfect’. The rate at which people are posting delicacies ,you may end up in depression thanks to your failed attempts.

Nonetheless, I don’t want to sound elitists how corona wasted my life. I could have done way better or I could have accomplished my 2020 first quarter goals. Crazy as it sounds I enjoy being away from what I knew was normal or perhaps thought it was .

Come to think of it ,isn’t this the the time you’ve been telling God. I just need an hour a day to do bible study, to write; draw ,spend time with your significant other ,your siblings or whatever thing you’ve been wishing for every damn time. If its rest then take that sleep you’ve been longing for.

Do something ,Do anything,now is the right time to do that thing you’ve been pending ,not after Corona, till then we will know what’s next.

What’s your story?

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